This is why it's a bad idea to travel alone.
Audrey wanted to go to a farm an hour outside of Chiang Mai. I will join her shortly, but I felt there was still more to experience here. This is my second day on my own. It's a horribly empowering thing to be able to succumb to weird urges in public and still be viewed in the exact same degree of alien that you already are. Whatever you do in daily life is already strange and confusing enough to Thai people, if you start tiptoeing around a shopping mall with your eyes bugged out, I assume at least there's some comfort in seeing familiarity in this:
"Oh yes, homeless and insane, we have those too. More coffee sir?"
The most abhorrent thing of all is when I attempt to distinguish Thai madness from our own. What is imported madness? 3 ice creameries in one building. Definitely ours. Everyone still wais though. Even in KFC. The wai is the Thai handshake. And yet the one thing they can't shake is their hospitality. How comforting.
Speaking of comforting, I starved myself for hours (unintentionally mind you), walking and rejecting breakfasts until now. Pasta with bacon. Do I have a problem? First fries and now this. Maybe it was all subconscious and I knew I would come here all along. Gotta gooooo. To that faaaaarm.
Monday, December 31, 2012
December 30, 2012 : 8:30pm - 5 minutes ago,
I sat, twanging a loose fibre from the thatched hammock I lay in, listening to the smooth sounds of a silky Chiang Mai evening. The chorus of "Gangam Style" echoing faintly in the distance. It has become a part of the audible landscape, with the frogs, crickets, birds and dogs. These are the sounds of nature.
I looked off onto a distant Wat. In Thailand, they call temples Wats. It means something in Thai. God only knows what.
Tonight is filled with magic. I contemplated being filled and realized with great urgency that I am hungry, and require a plate of french fries immediately. And a bottle of Leo to go with it, why not? I look at my phone. 5 minutes until they close the kitchen. This suddenly becomes the most important task in the world to me, crucial really. I bolt.
Presently I look on at the magic of the evening. I remember Johnny from Toronto telling me how he's felt better. I don't think he's seen in colour today. He'll see it soon enough.
My fries just arrived. You see? Magic. I have to admit that it peculiarly fascinating. This country. I wouldn't say that I've become disenchanted, as I've recently been pondering. Rather, the weight of reality, intimidating and massive like a bodybuilder on steroids, has finally descended on me, with my naive notions and classic schoolboy romanticism. I've been uprooted. It's uncomfortable. Who do I blame? The government? But which one? Those sneaky rat bastards, they've separated into splinter cell factions! No matter. Perhaps I had something to do with this turn of events as well...
Audrey's as happy as a pig doing pig stuff. Digging the culture, digging the heat, and the markets. The silk, and digging better ways of living. Maybe I think too much to be carefree. I still find humour in the situation though. Isn't that just as good? I'll be the plucky comic relief of Thailand. The Simon Pegg, sure.
So... So so... I guess I ran out of words. How unlike me, right? Staring at the man playing pool who may or may not be Iggy Pop. Looks about ready to search and destroy.
The magic's faded a bit now. I guess that's what makes it special. Understanding what an absence of magic feels like. Otherwise it would mean nothing. It would become another shade of grey, analyzed under a microscope into oblivion. I'm happy waiting for the next perfect moment.
I looked off onto a distant Wat. In Thailand, they call temples Wats. It means something in Thai. God only knows what.
Tonight is filled with magic. I contemplated being filled and realized with great urgency that I am hungry, and require a plate of french fries immediately. And a bottle of Leo to go with it, why not? I look at my phone. 5 minutes until they close the kitchen. This suddenly becomes the most important task in the world to me, crucial really. I bolt.
Presently I look on at the magic of the evening. I remember Johnny from Toronto telling me how he's felt better. I don't think he's seen in colour today. He'll see it soon enough.
My fries just arrived. You see? Magic. I have to admit that it peculiarly fascinating. This country. I wouldn't say that I've become disenchanted, as I've recently been pondering. Rather, the weight of reality, intimidating and massive like a bodybuilder on steroids, has finally descended on me, with my naive notions and classic schoolboy romanticism. I've been uprooted. It's uncomfortable. Who do I blame? The government? But which one? Those sneaky rat bastards, they've separated into splinter cell factions! No matter. Perhaps I had something to do with this turn of events as well...
Audrey's as happy as a pig doing pig stuff. Digging the culture, digging the heat, and the markets. The silk, and digging better ways of living. Maybe I think too much to be carefree. I still find humour in the situation though. Isn't that just as good? I'll be the plucky comic relief of Thailand. The Simon Pegg, sure.
So... So so... I guess I ran out of words. How unlike me, right? Staring at the man playing pool who may or may not be Iggy Pop. Looks about ready to search and destroy.
The magic's faded a bit now. I guess that's what makes it special. Understanding what an absence of magic feels like. Otherwise it would mean nothing. It would become another shade of grey, analyzed under a microscope into oblivion. I'm happy waiting for the next perfect moment.
Monday, December 24, 2012
December 25, 2012 : 11:23 - Merry Christmas!
Here in Thailand there is only a minor buzz around the monstrous multi-month long Titan known as Christmas. I feel homesick for my friends and family momentarily, but I mostly feel okay with being calm and reserved here in chiang mai.
Being without technology or the internet for a week was very strange, and going to another, stricter, more mindful farm for 2 weeks followed by yet another farm will be challenging, but also rewarding.
The most frightening prospect of all though, is the though of taking a 26 day meditation course a month from now. The would mean no technology, no reading, no writing, no talking, no naps, no contact with the outside world, and only 6 hours of sleep a night for a month.
Yet it is my main reason for being in Thailand so I can't back out now. It will just be intense. Nothing wrong with that, right? My brain won't implode from deprivation of stimuli. Right?
Being without technology or the internet for a week was very strange, and going to another, stricter, more mindful farm for 2 weeks followed by yet another farm will be challenging, but also rewarding.
The most frightening prospect of all though, is the though of taking a 26 day meditation course a month from now. The would mean no technology, no reading, no writing, no talking, no naps, no contact with the outside world, and only 6 hours of sleep a night for a month.
Yet it is my main reason for being in Thailand so I can't back out now. It will just be intense. Nothing wrong with that, right? My brain won't implode from deprivation of stimuli. Right?
Sunday, December 23, 2012
Pizza, Sign making, mud houses
Today was another beautiful day at Baan Sairoong. We visited many other farms to look at their mud houses, I worked on carving and making a sign for the farm, and I even made pizza in the mud oven. Somehow my brain has managed to store the information for 4 perfect balls of dough to make 4 pizzas. I can hardly recount what I learned in 5 years of university, but if it's pizza dough you want, I've got you covered. grumble grumble....$40,000 education...grumble grumble...
My Birthday!
The cook on the farm made me a special birthday fish that was caught from the lake down the road. We even stuck a candle in it! Best birthday fish I've ever had. We also had mango from trees nearby and rice grown from here too. It was so lovely. Bryce got me a beautiful orchid hair clip from the night market and we all had dinner together. Even the hives that are mysteriously appearing on my arms whenever I work with the mud houses couldn't get in my way of having a good day.
Baan Sairoong
We have been here for 3 days now and still have 4 more to go! Our host Isara is quite the man. Eternally grateful and endlessly generous, even with stomach problems plaguing him he still has a smile on his face.
Yesterday we attended the funeral of a village woman. Isara was happy that we came along because he wanted to share Thai culture with us. Here, when someone dies no one is sad because they know this person will come to Earth again via reincarnation. Instead of sadness, village monks come to chant for an hour while we meditate along to the chanting, and then they stuff us full of food, and Thai whiskey and beer until we're close to bursting.
Today I went to the local school to 'teach' the kindergarten. This involved me being tossed in a room for an hour with the children while the teacher dicked off. I had no help and couldn't translate a thing for them, but I still tried to teach them a few animal names and the English alphabet. They are just so desperate to learn English here that they'll throw anyone in the classroom and have the ramble in English to the kids in the hopes that something will be retained.
Traveling from Krabi to Tha Ma Fai Wan
Isara, our host, is a smiling, generous man, a former monk turned commune leader.
Our bed is in a mud and brick hut with holes in the thatched roof, and dirt and bug carcasses litter the floor. But you know what? That doesn't bother me because I have food, shelter and I'm sharing this all with someone I love. Lucky me!
Friday, December 14, 2012
December 10, 2012 : 6:56pm - As I sit in the lodge...
thinking about today, wearing my last dry set of clothes, listening to the thunder roar and rumble through the trees, I feel no anger or resentment, but rather, something almost resembling gratitude. Those memories flash in my mind in synchronicity with the lightning. Fragments.
Earlier that day:
I duck my head down, along with everyone else. We brace ourselves, like an airplane about to crash, some men remove their shirts. Not me. I look on. It looks like the end of the world. I look to my right. Audrey is smiling at me with fire in her eyes. I wonder now why I wished for adventure 2 hours ago.
2 hours earlier:
I wish for adventure as I trudge through the jungle. It isn't like I'm not enjoying myself, I really am! I'm in one of the oldest rain forests in the world, how awesome is that? I spend a lot of time looking at Audrey's ankles. They're clean. I wonder if it was a good idea to leave my phone at home.
This morning:
It's so beautiful out that I can't even imagine my phone getting wet, but the program said that sometimes things can get a little hairy out there, so I decide to be overly cautious. I'm super excited because today we're in Khao Sok and we're doing a cave tour! I've never done anything like this before so I'm a little nervous.
I think Audrey's a little more nervous though because she's terrified of leeches. I will probably be spending a lot of time watching her ankles, since it's quite likely we'll run into them here.
Before long we're loaded into a van, tossed out, and into a long motor boat for an hour long ride across the lake. The lake is beautiful. You can see huge limestone cliffs jutting out from the water.
As we're on the boat I have an epiphany, vast and visual. I see every future of my life played out to the piano composition of La Valse d'Amélie.
I see myself becoming a master meditator in the northern province of Thailand.
I see myself back in Canada, owning a cabin and a boat, working with fresh foods.
I see myself in France, immercing myself in culture and creative endeavor.
These visions are so beautiful that it's difficult for me to part with them, but I do for now.
This afternoon:
We get off the boat, eat, and get on another boat heading for the forest. The plant life is massive and towers above us, which relieves me, since at this point I'm sweating profusely amongst our mostly German tour-mates. The foliage overwhelmes my senses in a way I haven't experienced before.
In the cover of the trees we make our way to the caves. Over fallen logs, through streams, hopping on rocks. By the time we make it to the cave my sneakers, socks, and most of my shorts are drenched.
The cave is amazing, and traversed 800m. In its depths you can see only by flashlight. Its ceilings are swarmed with bats, and many of its canals have to be swam through.
When we emerge we are soaked head to toe. We make it back to the floating rafthouse unleeched, a reward for our bravery.
As much as I enjoyed it though, it was also very touristy. I wish for something unexpected to happen. I wish for adventure.
Late afternoon:
I change into a set of dry clothes and we begin our hour long boat journey back to land.
I feel a sense of calm wash over me. For the first time today, I feel quite comfortable. And then Audrey points something out. Rain clouds. Not normal rain clouds. Dark rain clouds. Dark, ominous, thunderous rain clouds. We are in shorts and a t-shirt in an uncovered boat in a vast lake intended to travel for another hour. I don't see how this could work out in our favour.
I can see the clouds approaching. The border where the torrent begins draws itself along the water, like a battle line. The tour guide tells us to use our life jackets like an umbrella. Again, I fail to see this working, but I do it anyway. I duck my head down.
.
..
...
It does nothing. We're soaked to the bone within minutes. Silently I apologize to anyone I may have wronged in my life. I'm only 27. That still qualifies as too young to die right?
Audrey looks in high spirits. I'm probably taking this too seriously. Lightning crashes. I cling to Audrey for dear life.
The second our boat arrives at the pier the rain stops. For now it seems we've been spared. In the blink of an eye we're whisked off the boat and onto a pickup truck with a roof with 4 of our German tour-mates.
This evening:
The ride begins uneventfully enough. I contemplate offering some of my can of Pringles to them, now sitting in my wet shoe in the center of our shared seating space before deciding it may be culturally insensitive to offer someone food out of a dirty shoe.
Before long the rain starts again and I am huddled next to Audrey, wrapped in my towel, now the only dry article I have left. The Pringles are also remarkably dry inside its can.
The sky becomes dark and Audrey jokes, "At least we can't get any wetter." What do you think happened?
The rain's rain got harder. The driver's driving got more erratic. And I apologized to more people, plotting what to do in worst case scenarios. Audrey jokes, "At least now we can't get any wetter."
Seriously?
I've never been so wet. I was so wet I didn't even know how to feel anything else. Thunder boomed, lightning crashed. It looked like we were evading some unseen monster, about to swallow us whole.
Now - 8:40pm:
As I write this, the storm we worked so hard to escape has made its way to our doorstep. I'm now sharing this lodge with thousands of insects and lizards seeking shelter, swatting them as I write. But as I finish this story, and my beer, I only have one thought.
How the hell do I get from here to my room without soaking my last set of dry clothes, and my phone?!
Earlier that day:
I duck my head down, along with everyone else. We brace ourselves, like an airplane about to crash, some men remove their shirts. Not me. I look on. It looks like the end of the world. I look to my right. Audrey is smiling at me with fire in her eyes. I wonder now why I wished for adventure 2 hours ago.
2 hours earlier:
I wish for adventure as I trudge through the jungle. It isn't like I'm not enjoying myself, I really am! I'm in one of the oldest rain forests in the world, how awesome is that? I spend a lot of time looking at Audrey's ankles. They're clean. I wonder if it was a good idea to leave my phone at home.
This morning:
It's so beautiful out that I can't even imagine my phone getting wet, but the program said that sometimes things can get a little hairy out there, so I decide to be overly cautious. I'm super excited because today we're in Khao Sok and we're doing a cave tour! I've never done anything like this before so I'm a little nervous.
I think Audrey's a little more nervous though because she's terrified of leeches. I will probably be spending a lot of time watching her ankles, since it's quite likely we'll run into them here.
Before long we're loaded into a van, tossed out, and into a long motor boat for an hour long ride across the lake. The lake is beautiful. You can see huge limestone cliffs jutting out from the water.
As we're on the boat I have an epiphany, vast and visual. I see every future of my life played out to the piano composition of La Valse d'Amélie.
I see myself becoming a master meditator in the northern province of Thailand.
I see myself back in Canada, owning a cabin and a boat, working with fresh foods.
I see myself in France, immercing myself in culture and creative endeavor.
These visions are so beautiful that it's difficult for me to part with them, but I do for now.
This afternoon:
We get off the boat, eat, and get on another boat heading for the forest. The plant life is massive and towers above us, which relieves me, since at this point I'm sweating profusely amongst our mostly German tour-mates. The foliage overwhelmes my senses in a way I haven't experienced before.
In the cover of the trees we make our way to the caves. Over fallen logs, through streams, hopping on rocks. By the time we make it to the cave my sneakers, socks, and most of my shorts are drenched.
The cave is amazing, and traversed 800m. In its depths you can see only by flashlight. Its ceilings are swarmed with bats, and many of its canals have to be swam through.
When we emerge we are soaked head to toe. We make it back to the floating rafthouse unleeched, a reward for our bravery.
As much as I enjoyed it though, it was also very touristy. I wish for something unexpected to happen. I wish for adventure.
Late afternoon:
I change into a set of dry clothes and we begin our hour long boat journey back to land.
I feel a sense of calm wash over me. For the first time today, I feel quite comfortable. And then Audrey points something out. Rain clouds. Not normal rain clouds. Dark rain clouds. Dark, ominous, thunderous rain clouds. We are in shorts and a t-shirt in an uncovered boat in a vast lake intended to travel for another hour. I don't see how this could work out in our favour.
I can see the clouds approaching. The border where the torrent begins draws itself along the water, like a battle line. The tour guide tells us to use our life jackets like an umbrella. Again, I fail to see this working, but I do it anyway. I duck my head down.
.
..
...
It does nothing. We're soaked to the bone within minutes. Silently I apologize to anyone I may have wronged in my life. I'm only 27. That still qualifies as too young to die right?
Audrey looks in high spirits. I'm probably taking this too seriously. Lightning crashes. I cling to Audrey for dear life.
The second our boat arrives at the pier the rain stops. For now it seems we've been spared. In the blink of an eye we're whisked off the boat and onto a pickup truck with a roof with 4 of our German tour-mates.
This evening:
The ride begins uneventfully enough. I contemplate offering some of my can of Pringles to them, now sitting in my wet shoe in the center of our shared seating space before deciding it may be culturally insensitive to offer someone food out of a dirty shoe.
Before long the rain starts again and I am huddled next to Audrey, wrapped in my towel, now the only dry article I have left. The Pringles are also remarkably dry inside its can.
The sky becomes dark and Audrey jokes, "At least we can't get any wetter." What do you think happened?
The rain's rain got harder. The driver's driving got more erratic. And I apologized to more people, plotting what to do in worst case scenarios. Audrey jokes, "At least now we can't get any wetter."
Seriously?
I've never been so wet. I was so wet I didn't even know how to feel anything else. Thunder boomed, lightning crashed. It looked like we were evading some unseen monster, about to swallow us whole.
Now - 8:40pm:
As I write this, the storm we worked so hard to escape has made its way to our doorstep. I'm now sharing this lodge with thousands of insects and lizards seeking shelter, swatting them as I write. But as I finish this story, and my beer, I only have one thought.
How the hell do I get from here to my room without soaking my last set of dry clothes, and my phone?!
Wednesday, December 12, 2012
December 8, 2012 - We are closing in on our final days in paradise.
We've become accustomed to motorbikes, to the point where when we saw a car on the street, we freaked out a little. Today we kayaked, had breakfast meat, explored, and I believe tonight we will see a fire show. Hoo hah!
December 7, 2012 : 5:30pm - It did get better!
Audrey rode me all around the island, then so did I. I saw monkeys.
There is something inspiring about leaving behind things that a modern American citizen would want. Things, technology, comfort, a steady source of income, distraction. All that's on this island really is yourself, nature, a few others (very few which are native english speakers), nature, maybe a book, and your thoughts.
Looking out over the sunset and the ocean, I can't help but wonder where I go from here. And with seemingly instant clarity, before even finishing the thought, I know the answer.
With nothing but time to reflect, one is instilled with blind confidence.
There is something inspiring about leaving behind things that a modern American citizen would want. Things, technology, comfort, a steady source of income, distraction. All that's on this island really is yourself, nature, a few others (very few which are native english speakers), nature, maybe a book, and your thoughts.
Looking out over the sunset and the ocean, I can't help but wonder where I go from here. And with seemingly instant clarity, before even finishing the thought, I know the answer.
With nothing but time to reflect, one is instilled with blind confidence.
December 7, 2012 : 11:00am - Our first night in Ko Phayam was soured a little bit...
by the owner of the bungalows we stayed in. After 4 years of ownership our bungalow was in disrepair, dirty, and Audrey put her foot through the floor on her way to the shower, which had a burnt out light, all of which Todd (the "owner") seemed hesitant to rectify. Despite all that though, the food was amazing, and we had a great day just chillin' by the beach.
Today was turbulent with the learning curve of scooter riding, but I think it will get better.
Today was turbulent with the learning curve of scooter riding, but I think it will get better.
December 6, 2012 : 9:30am - So the movie didn't work out but the massage was amazing.
It felt like a UFC fighter forcing me into yoga poses. Audrey took me on a dinner cruise with definitely the best food ever in my mouth, except hers.
The next day we took what I would call the most terrifying bus ride of my life, which lasted 10 hours. Amazingly still alive, we arrive in Ranong. Instantly 1000 times better than Bangkok. My Thai improves. An entire day spent sleeping after massive jet lag hits.
We take a small bus thing to the pier, which charges us extra for being so large and having huge backpacks. And then hop on a funny little boat with a bunch of other tourists to Koh Phayam. This cute little kid inquires about Batman and Harry Potter, and sings along to Elvis, "Bruce Wayne's shoes.".
The next day we took what I would call the most terrifying bus ride of my life, which lasted 10 hours. Amazingly still alive, we arrive in Ranong. Instantly 1000 times better than Bangkok. My Thai improves. An entire day spent sleeping after massive jet lag hits.
We take a small bus thing to the pier, which charges us extra for being so large and having huge backpacks. And then hop on a funny little boat with a bunch of other tourists to Koh Phayam. This cute little kid inquires about Batman and Harry Potter, and sings along to Elvis, "Bruce Wayne's shoes.".
December 3, 2012 : 9:40am - It's mah birfday!
Today we will get massages and go to a movie, which I hear is a really big deal here. You get blankets and can sit in a couch and get valet food service. Sounds badass dope to me. Then Audrey has a super special surprise planned. I can't wait to find out what's in store!!
December 2, 2012 : 3:30pm - 2nd day in Bangkok.
I hate Bangkok. It's smoggy, the venders are pushy, everyone seems to be in poverty, and yet everywhere is advertisements for phones and cars and fancy restaurants. I want out. In a few days we will get the heck out of Dodge to a remote island, but for today we've treated ourselves to a private room for the night and a nice pair of pants.
Tuk Tuk drivers, "Where you going, where you going?" Not your way pal.
Old Bangkok is golden palaces surrounded by military armed guards next to more poverty.
Audrey brough up an excellent point. She wondered what Buddha would think of his image being replicated in gold and sold by the thousands to tourists and locals alike. What would he think if he knew he had become a God-like symbol? It's not what he wanted Buddhism to be, I can tell you that much!
My birthday is tomorrow. I wonder if they celebrate this holiday here. Bryce's b-day is a pretty big deal.
Tuk Tuk drivers, "Where you going, where you going?" Not your way pal.
Old Bangkok is golden palaces surrounded by military armed guards next to more poverty.
Audrey brough up an excellent point. She wondered what Buddha would think of his image being replicated in gold and sold by the thousands to tourists and locals alike. What would he think if he knew he had become a God-like symbol? It's not what he wanted Buddhism to be, I can tell you that much!
My birthday is tomorrow. I wonder if they celebrate this holiday here. Bryce's b-day is a pretty big deal.
Monday, December 10, 2012
Khao Sok National Park
Jungle Boogie
It's so easy to never want to leave Ko Phayam, but we are doing it. Khao Sok National Park, here we come. I have decided to face my biggest fear = the leech. Going in to the jungle will mean I WILL get them. It's inevitable for all hikers. I will also be in one of the world's oldest rainforests - 160 million years old - and I could see wildlife like I've never seen it before, including maybe even a tiger! Although I'd sooner face the tiger than the leeches.
Did you know that they have both anterior and posterior mouths and brains, in addition to 3 blades in each mouth, anticoagulant spit and 9, NINE!!!!, testes. Living proof there is no God...
Did you know that they have both anterior and posterior mouths and brains, in addition to 3 blades in each mouth, anticoagulant spit and 9, NINE!!!!, testes. Living proof there is no God...
Ko Phayam
- Travelling on Thai time. When they say the ferry takes "around 2 hours" it actually means closer to 3.
- the ferry would SO not pass safety inspections in Canada. Officials would take one look and laugh hysterically. I actually had to balance along a one foot wide, slippery, angled plank to get on, and then leap on to some offset stone steps to get off. I wonder how the elderly woman with the cane fared...
- hop on the back of a "motorbike" and whip across the island to some falling over bamboo claptrap that you're to call home for the time being. Fall through the floor of said claptrap, relocate to Mr. Gao Bungalows...
- jumping jellyfish, something just stung me in the water!
- wake up to monkeys and dogs fighting.
- eat better food than anything you've ever tried. Ever.
- never want to leave and sadly do, in search of more adventures and upon finding leg muscles atrophied after too much beach bumming.
- the ferry would SO not pass safety inspections in Canada. Officials would take one look and laugh hysterically. I actually had to balance along a one foot wide, slippery, angled plank to get on, and then leap on to some offset stone steps to get off. I wonder how the elderly woman with the cane fared...
- hop on the back of a "motorbike" and whip across the island to some falling over bamboo claptrap that you're to call home for the time being. Fall through the floor of said claptrap, relocate to Mr. Gao Bungalows...
- jumping jellyfish, something just stung me in the water!
- wake up to monkeys and dogs fighting.
- eat better food than anything you've ever tried. Ever.
- never want to leave and sadly do, in search of more adventures and upon finding leg muscles atrophied after too much beach bumming.
Friday, December 7, 2012
December 1, 2012 : 1:50 pm - I am in Bangkok now.
I still haven't slept properly since before this trip started over 40 hours ago. I fear I may be going insane. I have tried to sleep, but I will not succumb. My brain feels savagely alert yet numb and truly exhausted at the same time. The top bunk in the top corner of a room in the top corner of the hostel I'm staying in is my new den. I feel like Quasimodo.
I believe now at the best potato chips flavour is cool cucumber. I've tasted nothing like it in my life. It shocks my senses. Leaves me breathless.
Audrey left me the impossible task of sleep. She has the only key to this room. I am stranded. I fear if she knew how truly undone I've become, she would smother me with a pillow to put me out of my misery.
J/k though. I feel pretty good, just need a cat nap and I want to adventure. There is much to see.
I believe now at the best potato chips flavour is cool cucumber. I've tasted nothing like it in my life. It shocks my senses. Leaves me breathless.
Audrey left me the impossible task of sleep. She has the only key to this room. I am stranded. I fear if she knew how truly undone I've become, she would smother me with a pillow to put me out of my misery.
J/k though. I feel pretty good, just need a cat nap and I want to adventure. There is much to see.
December 1, 2012. 6:20am : I am in China.
I just had to ask what time it is because my phone says it's 230 pm on Friday. It's saturday here Friday did not exist for me. I wonder if people go mad with this sense of disorientation, mixed with an entire day rocking and heaving in a bucket seat plowing through the Pacific Ocean in the sky.
Everyone is moaning at the lack of WiFi in this airport, or inaccessibility thereof. I wonder what Western Horrors await us 5 hours from now. I calm myself as my phone charges. My last symbolic bastion of my former life.
It is somehow muggier and foggier here then LA. I wouldn't have even known we were about to hit the aground if my lovely travel companion had not eagerly been counting down for me, her face plastered to the window in dazed fascination. It's hard to tell if I'm excited yet. I just want a bagel.
Everyone is moaning at the lack of WiFi in this airport, or inaccessibility thereof. I wonder what Western Horrors await us 5 hours from now. I calm myself as my phone charges. My last symbolic bastion of my former life.
It is somehow muggier and foggier here then LA. I wouldn't have even known we were about to hit the aground if my lovely travel companion had not eagerly been counting down for me, her face plastered to the window in dazed fascination. It's hard to tell if I'm excited yet. I just want a bagel.
Sunday, December 2, 2012
Bangkok is a mad house
People are constantly coming up to you in the streets to offer advice. I am currently sitting in a cafe downtown because it was actually the only way to escape a man begging for money. Everyone is trying to get you onto a boat or a tuk tuk or a taxi or their buddy's taxi.
We attempted to do the Lonely Planet walking tour of Old Bangkok today which promptly resulted in getting so, so lost immediately and having to pee so bad with no toilet insight. I cried like a little girl will Bryce frantically flipped through our phrase book for "toilet". My finest moment in Thailand thus far.
It is absolutely striking to see the palace, the military base, a shrine and two temples, absolutely spotless covered in gold and jewels, and white washed all to hell right next to what I would call a slum.
Everyone here has very little money. I guess what else do you do to survive when there's a constantly fresh pool of tourists to make money off of one way or another?
We attempted to do the Lonely Planet walking tour of Old Bangkok today which promptly resulted in getting so, so lost immediately and having to pee so bad with no toilet insight. I cried like a little girl will Bryce frantically flipped through our phrase book for "toilet". My finest moment in Thailand thus far.
It is absolutely striking to see the palace, the military base, a shrine and two temples, absolutely spotless covered in gold and jewels, and white washed all to hell right next to what I would call a slum.
Everyone here has very little money. I guess what else do you do to survive when there's a constantly fresh pool of tourists to make money off of one way or another?
The Chatuchak market
Insane awesome market spanning city blocks, With row upon row of crowded stalls. Thus far we've actually stayed off the beaten path as much as one can in Bangkok. However the market is a major tourist destination. Gangna style t shirts and puppies seem to be a current trend. My favorite part was bartering. There are no prices on anything, of course. The woman hands you your pants and types $180 baht in to her calcuator. I grab the calculator and type $100. She laughs and says no, typing in a price she thinks you'll go for. This goes on until both parties are satisfied. You must do this with everything here.
Amazing food just off of soi 13
Our first meal in Thailand.
Once we sat down we realized the whole menu was full of pictures of strange looking seafood. We pointed at the 2 least insane, least brightly colored, and least tentacled items. Minutes later our deep fried balls of mystery meat and plate of a few tentacles arrived, as did our giant beers. My bad. I didn't know "bottle of beer" meant jug instead. We tottered back to the hostel and were asleep by 6:30.
Oh yeah and tentacles are delicious.
Once we sat down we realized the whole menu was full of pictures of strange looking seafood. We pointed at the 2 least insane, least brightly colored, and least tentacled items. Minutes later our deep fried balls of mystery meat and plate of a few tentacles arrived, as did our giant beers. My bad. I didn't know "bottle of beer" meant jug instead. We tottered back to the hostel and were asleep by 6:30.
Oh yeah and tentacles are delicious.
The flight from China to Bangkok
We are flying over what I can only assume is Vietnam or Lao and it is absolutely beautiful. Verdant jungle and gently sloping mountains are punctuated by silver snaking rivers, singing back the sun's reflection. Round puffs of cotton like clouds dot the scene. Above it the blue goes on farther than I can comprehend. It is beautiful. I was stressing over the confusing map of Bangkok prior to the moment when I saw that view. You're not allowed to stress with a view like that.
In transit
Today I start to start my journey to my new life. Even if I end up back in Canada in 3 months I will still have changed on my new experiences. I will be new.
Things I have seen today:
Airport security.
Sitting inside a tin can, strapped in by 1 piece of cloth, hurdling across the world at 500 miles per hour. My idea of fun let me tell you.
Strangers aren't scary, they're friendly.
Bryce being silent for several minutes at a time before sporadically turning to me and singing random lines from random songs for returning to his own little world. I can only imagine how many next several months may go.
Ryan Reynolds in front of me at security.
LAX I will now write you a haiku:
It is too humid
security is so slow
you scan my body
Things I have seen today:
Airport security.
Sitting inside a tin can, strapped in by 1 piece of cloth, hurdling across the world at 500 miles per hour. My idea of fun let me tell you.
Strangers aren't scary, they're friendly.
Bryce being silent for several minutes at a time before sporadically turning to me and singing random lines from random songs for returning to his own little world. I can only imagine how many next several months may go.
Ryan Reynolds in front of me at security.
LAX I will now write you a haiku:
It is too humid
security is so slow
you scan my body
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